I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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