I hate all girls vehemently.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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