About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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