i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Randomize