i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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