is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
