remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
