sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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