I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize