My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize