one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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