so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
