he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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