Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
