Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
