We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
