you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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