I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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