I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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