Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
