Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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