I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
