sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You made out with two different species that night
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
