No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
