super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
