shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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