What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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