I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
