Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
