I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
