I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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