Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
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I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
the raccoons are back...
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