I just pynch a tree in the face
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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