he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
