I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize