I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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