my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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