I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
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Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
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I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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