so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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