Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
