I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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