Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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