my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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