I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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