I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize