Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
high people should be assigned attendants
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
