His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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