and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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