I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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