Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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