If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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