the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
