OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
