you guys were way drunker than both of me
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize