So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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