My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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