she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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