Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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