and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
